THE "RESIGN, JEFF!" REVIEW |
RJR 1 | 11 March 1994 | Melbourne, Victoria |
The "Resign, Jeff!" Review is an irregularly distributed broadside which hopes to provide a politically incorrect commentary on the Kennett Government's devolution of Victoria into a Master/Servant state. We'll leave in-depth reporting to the experts; our intention is to print the things that many people think, but for reasons of position, are unable to say. Our experience with demagogues has shown that the one thing they cannot abide is ridicule. When confronted with any form of protest, they merely file their teeth and jump into the fray (while, of course, paying no attention whatsoever to the measured thinking found in editorials, commentaries and letters in newspapers). But to be held in mocking contempt, to be jeered and laughed at, to be exposed as the scrawny-minded bullies they are, turns them into gibbering basket cases. No one on the RJR holds a position of community importance; we are non-professionals whose sense of injustice has been stretched beyond the limits of the credulous. Furthermore, we hold no ideologies, nor do we belong to any party (believing that self-serving party politics is largely to blame for poor government). Our ultimate position is centrist, although in these days of hardline conservatism, that position has swung considerably to the left. Our political and social beliefs are unified and simple: the government of the day must serve the interests of the people, i.e., it must strengthen, rather than weaken, basic human rights. While we are not so naive as to believe that any government has ever fulfilled this obligation, we do believe the Kennett Government has reversed the equation to an alarming degree. The RJR hopes to be around until the next State election, whether or not Jeff himself makes it. (If he doesn't, we'll just change the "J" to the appropriate initial of the next despot.) Whichever party wins the election, we trust its majority will not be absolute. No more parliamentary dictatorships, please! May our readers be outraged and amused by the meandering fulminations on these pages. RESIGN, JEFF! PRO VICTORIA After nearly a year and a half of Jeff Kennett's systematic destruction of everything civilisation stands for, we must now wonder where his inspiration lies. Apparently he thinks a great deal of Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher, two people whose elitist ideologies set their respective cultures back a century. Yet, to this observer, he more closely resembles Nicolai Ceaucescu, a shallow and ruthless authoritarian who was blind to the existence, let alone needs, of anyone else. And let's not forget old Joe Stalin. While Jeffrey never lets a moment slip by to remind us that socialist scum (Unionists, Teachers, Care Workers, the poor, etc.) are the cause of all our woes, who more closely emulates Joe's style of government? Like Nicolai and Joe before him, Jeff is stacking the deck so that no one may question his right to rule. And now it appears that we taxpayers--through property levies, increased fees on utilities, schooling, and vehicle registration among others--are not only contributing to Jeff's rabid desire to turn Victoria into a Mafioso-infested Disneyland, but we can now be counted on to fund his right to remain a "citizen above suspicion" and to break the opposition 'vermin" at the same time. He has no doubts that he can single-handedly ruin the Labor Party in Australia if he so chooses. Are we talking megalomania here? Stalin was a megalomaniac; so was Ceaucescu. And Pol Pot and Saddam Hussein still are. Of course, Kennett is small time; he doesn't yet have an army, though his baton-twirling, pressure-pointing police force will do just fine till the day he conquers Canberra. Does anyone doubt he hasn't already worked that one out? once, of course, he wipes out all opposition. RESIGN, JEFF! Since Alan Kohler became editor of The Age shortly after the last state election, its readers must be wondering which newspaper they are reading. No longer are we treated to biting commentaries on the transparent totalitarianism of the Kennett regime. Instead, reporters seem to be hedging their bets, as if a censor were sitting behind them. And the unthinkable has happened repeatedly: editorials championing Jeff's economic rationalism while apologising for the widespread misery they are causing. Furthermore, there is a paucity in the actual reporting of the Premier's recent debacles, as if they were unimportant. Newspaper readers used to know which paper to buy for in-depth reporting; the Herald Sun was merely a tabloid. Yet that paper has lately been out-reporting The Age. Perhaps the editors of the HS feel safe, in that no matter what they say (and no matter how many fawning editorials Alan Kohler writes), the Premier will continue to love them and denounce The Age. Heil Jeff! • (Herald Sun 24/2) Cover of the Herald Sun showing His Gormlessness sniffing Cusson's detergent. A revelation to those who always thought of him as a glue sniffer. • (The Age 25/2) As we all feared, the Kennett Government is likely to appoint commissioners to replace the elected councils in Greater Melbourne. That all may report unto me or mine. • (Age 26/2) Jeff refuses to back the DPP, admitting it will create waves. Looks like he's just marking time till he can guarantee dictatorial immunity by appointing his own stooge. • (Age 26/2) The Kennett hubris is truly a wonder to behold. Confronted with the ALP's legal action, Jeff smugly tells his vassals, the people of Victoria, that they will pay his court costs and break the ALP at the same time. • (Age 28/2) Further proof that Jeff Kennett should be removed from office immediately comes with the news that he has publicly backed the Greek community (more potential votes, eh, Jeff?) over Australia's recognition of the Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia. Never mind that the United Nations and over 50 countries have already recognized the new state. Political opportunism? He makes the concept sound benign. • (Age 28/2) It would be a difficult task to cite the Kennett Government's worst instance of democracide, but surely the sacking of Moira Rayner must be on the short list. As today was her last day as Equal Opportunity Commissioner, Susy Freeman-Greene's interview of Ms Rayner in "The Monday Profile" was a fitting reminder to Victorians that those continuing to support the Kennett Government should be deeply ashamed. • (1/3) Both The Age and Herald Sun editorials denounce the Premier's public backing of Greece on Macedonia's recognition as a republic. The Age quotes Gareth Evans' response to Kennett's comments as "the worst kind of disgraceful political opportunism." The RJR wonders if the Greek community has been paying attention to the effect of Kennett's reforms, and if they have any idea of the repressive government in store for them were they to help elect the Federal Coalition's howling jackals. • (HS 2/3) The Premier is projecting again! "Vermin and rogues!" snarls he, as the ALP's Justice Fund gets under way. Labor supporters collecting funds "are vermin on our streets. They have been vermin in our state...they may have an Age under their LEFT arm..." He then went on to say, "I don't incite to violence." Not our Jeff! But it's a sure bet that if Labor wins the court battle, Jeffrey Gibb Kennett, the greatest electoral mistake Australians have ever made, will go out screaming and kicking. If so, we hope the 7:30 Report follows him all the way to his padded cell. • (Age 2/3) The Incensed One goes on to exhort the "vermin and rogues" who are contributing gladly to be sure to get a receipt. (Russell Skelton), 'because the ALP' is 'honour-bound to return the money if the challenge' fails. Of course, we all know Mr. Honour and Probity will refund taxpayers if he loses. • (Age 4/3) Reporting on Jeff's asinine and unnecessary comments on the NCA following the bombing in Adelaide. Russell Skelton wonders "what sort of thoughts flash through the [the Premier's mind] under the shower these mornings." The RJR has a theory, conceived at the time of the Premier's untimely and downright mean query of the SIDS Foundation's accounting practices on, of all days, Red Nose Day: the Premier keeps a string of pennybangers up his bottom, and every time one goes off, something comes out his mouth. • (Age 6/3) Regarding the Greek/Macedonian fiasco, James Jupp states: "Premier Kennett should not have joined the debate. Foreign policy is not a state responsibility and neither is immigration. Public order most definitely is." Imagine if the fool was Prime Minister! • (HS 6/3) Is the bully on the back foot? David Wilson reports: "State Parliament will be asked on Tuesday to 'forgive' the Premier ... over his alleged involvement in the KNF Advertising affair." Kennett henchman, Phil Gude, is expected to present the resolution. But according to Michael Magazanik (Age (7/3), the ALP may then go to the High Court, thus putting paid to Kennett's absurd claim that the whole action is a "political stunt." • (HS 7/3) Damien Johnston and Caroline Webb report the Premier "would consider convening talks to end the Macedonian dispute which has been blamed for a spate of arson attacks in the past fortnight." How is he going to hold talks, which would include a Macedonian representative, when he has already sided with the Greeks? • Off the hook? The Age front page omits the Premier's name altogether in articles about the Greek-Macedonian tensions, even though the Immigration and Ethnic Affairs Minister, Senator Nick Bolkus, said in Melbourne yesterday that the "Premier was acting like a social pyromaniac...it's about time that little Lucifer was put back in his box." (HS 8/3). • (9/3) As we go to print, Jeff's Jury is still sitting in Parliament, the outcome never in doubt. (Also in no doubt is the fact that the KNF affair is minor compared to the innumerable attacks on the fragile well being of thousands of people by this government.) You only have to see them, cynical and arrogant in their temporal glory, to realise that Jeff Kennett and each member of his Gang of 61 will one day be answerable to the people of Victoria. They represent the nadir of human development, a kind of genetic garbage for whom right and wrong equates only to profit and loss. RESIGN, JEFF! After a Hard Day of After a brow-wiping day of sackings, cutbacks and doublespeak sloganizing, Old Psycho Eyes likes to get it all out of his system by singing along (really loudly, if no one's home) with that refreshing cathartic for overworked Philistines: The Phantom of the Opera. Lest We Forget: THREE SUPER IMPORTANT FUNDING CUTS TO HELP REDUCE THE "DEBT CRISIS" (Read: Cuts to screw the disadvantaged in order to finance a feudal agenda, including massive outlays for: junkets overseas to hobnob with likeminded EconoRats; advertising to convince people that black is white; and inflated pay packets for imported bureaucrats expert at sacking real human beings to make spreadsheets look good): THE STILLBORN AND NEONATAL DEATH SUPPORT GROUP (SANDS): $37,500 THE GREY SISTERS: $45,000 SUDDEN INFANT DEATH SYNDROME (SIDS) RESEARCH FOUNDATION: $54,000 |
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