Squidzilla
is
coming!

Making the world safe for giant squid
Harold Hark
13 September 2002

The putative ratification of the Kyoto Protocol by China, Russia, India, and Canada has caught Australia's Waffling Weasel on the back foot. Citing increasing droughts, floods, and worsening air quality as reasons, the countries no one ever thought would sign up have pledged to come to the party.

But not Australia, who, once again, is seen as America's lap dog. Nevertheless if Dubbya were to sign, John "laphappy" Howard would suddenly see the sense in it too.

Also lapping at Dubbya's spit-shined shoes are Croatia, Estonia, Lithuania, Monaco, Poland, and Switzerland. These eight countries are known as "annex one".

The reticence to ratify is based on the fear that loss of jobs would result from penalties imposed on Australia's resource exporters, the very same folks who have made a killing on our third-world dollar and who support the Coalition to the hilt. Forget the jobs, the Coalition couldn't care less. And resource industries, particularly coal and aluminium, are all but dead in the rising water, at least as dead as John Howard's grip on life post-1955.

Oh, what a friend he has in Dubbya. The hysteria over Iraq (when Saudi Arabia contributed most of the S/11 terrorists) is based in degrading part on America's blind subservience to fossil fuels. As a result, Little Johnny wants to be blind too. The majority of Americans are mindlessly prepared to unleash a world war to preserve the God-given right to fuel their gas guzzling behemoths. Or so they think. The war will really preserve Dubbya's own private oil interests.

What a threshold we are standing on. A wither of old white men are jeopardising everyone's future to save their discredited honour and bank accounts. Either Kyoto is implemented seriously, or these self-serving politicians are going to make the world safe for but one species, the heretofore legendary and largely unknown species that is proliferating wildly and has already surpassed the total biomass of the human race: giant squid.

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