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With the effete, premature ejaculate common to their kind dribbling down their pant legs, the armed genetic garbage of the Northern Territory's police force invaded Darwin's Raintree Park last Saturday, the 20th of April. Mission: kick the shit out of defenceless people protesting absurd new changes to marijuana laws being proposed by Clare Martin's Labor Government.

Later, their shift over, the pigs whooped it up in the station shower room, furtively glancing at each other's willies between kick-arse jokes, each vowing to give their wives a little demo of the day's fun. And so they did, each a clone of the other. Upon arriving home for the usual round of celebratory beer swilling and wife beating, the oinkers first commanded their wives to wash the soiled pants before setting upon them for the nightly domestic violence. Sodomising the wife always gives a Northern Territory cop the opportunity to fantasise on being buggered by pin up boy Denis Burke. Later, after scarfing the usual mixed grill, and with the bruised Mrs off in the loo whimpering over applications of Anusol, he can always relax with a tinnie and the satisfaction of another day's work well done in the name of neo-Fascist Howardism.

For details of the atrocity, click on the picture.

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Staff in Peter Costello's office were terrorised when someone (likely an Illiberal provocateur) sent the smirking glambler a letter containing an unknown mustard-coloured substance. Illiberal scientists have ruled out anthrax, but are waiting on further tests to determine if the powder is some other non-lethal bacterium or his granny's missing packet of instant butterscotch pudding. The meaning of all this? Be the first on your block to hear Illiberal after Illiberal stand up in Parliament and declare that the new anti-terrorist bill is now a clear necessity.

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In a scientific breakthrough, John Howard's conscience was located under a microscope last night on the BackBerner show. However, being the conscience of a conservative, the minuscule cell was pronounced inoperative stemming from its still birth 62 years ago.

Also presented on the show was a plastic replica of Howard's concrete heart. Confounding the laws of nature (while confirming the laws of Voodoo) the little item was seen to be palpitating furiously. The good Doctor Berner appeared baffled, but we know the terrifying truth. Leesa Meldrum, along with that socialist High Court, flouted ancient Illiberal Party Scripture, which specifically forbids fertility rights to single women, lesbians and other unmarried undesirables. To see her tears of joy at finally being allowed to bear children dry up in a well of despair will be enough to stir every conservative heart, albeit uncreate, to glorious revivification. To this end, the government will reintroduce legislation to ban IVF treatment for all but heterosexual married women who vote Illiberal. The lids of their coffins are rising like the penises of freshly hung heretics already.

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Shane Stone, who was rewarded with the Australian Illiberal Party federal presidency for being the kind of bloke who would author something like the Northern Territory's Mandatory Sentencing law, and who went on to celebrate the death of an Aboriginal boy in custody as one less "grub" to deal with, has surfaced again.

With his opening address to the Illiberal Party federal council meeting in Canberra, Stone has prepped us for the next step in the Illiberal Party's assault on democracy. Inspired by a roomful of the usual slurries of scum, he lashed out against the press with such quaintly derogatory terms as "claptrap", "nonsense" and "fanciful poppycock" in regard to their "still challenging, six months on, the legitimacy of the Howard Government." Stone denounced their view that "it was all a trick, a race election, a rigged result and an illegitimate mandate."

Don't you just love the knack some Illiberals have, John Howard in particular, of so accurately stating the case against themselves?

Citing journalists Glenn Milne, Michelle Grattan, Michael Gordon, Mike Steketee and Tony Walker, Stone said, "I'm sure many Australians will view the current negative outpouring against the Howard Government as essentially un-Australian."

There's that dog-whistling word again. Introduced into the Right Wing lexicon as "un-Victorian" by trail blazing local psychopath Jeff Kennett, it has taken his federal counterparts by storm and been broadened to include any Australian who disagrees with their feudal ideology. And it's sure to get Little Johnny's supporters to reach for their flaming torches and pitch forks, or whatever it is they use to so eloquently express their hatred of that thing in their skulls.

Still, I suppose we should be grateful. Stone's counterparts in Hitler or Stalin's regimes would have had our journalists rounded up and shot.

(Based on an article by Phillip Hudson, The Age, 13/4/02, and a report from P.A.R.I.A.H. (People Against Racists Interpreting Australian History)

Related Articles:

Mark McKenna: "No mandate to silence dissent"
"Essentially, (Stone) suggests that democracy is the majority's right to silence dissent."

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An article by Ben Canaider in The Age Epicure (26/3/02) notes that for every $20 bottle of wine we buy, $9.60 goes to the Federal Government in tax. That's 48 per cent, folks. Canaider says "this is three times as much as the average rate paid by OECD countries. We pay four to five times more tax than France, the US or Italy.

"How did this come about? Well, before 1984, we didn't pay tax on wine consumption. After 1984, it grew from 1 per cent to 41 percent ­ the final level Wholesale Tax reached before the introduction of the GST. But 10 per cent GST was going to see the government short 31 per cent; hence the introduction of WET ­ the Wine Equalisation Tax of 29 per cent in July 2000. But someone in Treasury clearly cannot add up because WET, in combination with the GST, has actually seen wine prices rise.

"The Government is taxing the wine industry in the way it is because it believes it can get away with it. The wine industry is taxed so highly because it's so successful. It's an easy tax target with few skeletons, or "negative externalities" in the closet--in other words, you can tax some products at a higher rate because they lead to bad things ­ lung cancer, domestic violence, road trauma and alcoholism. I know. I talked to the Federal Government. Who is to blame for this high wine tax? I asked. The consumer, said a spokesperson. People are drinking and enjoying wine too much."

Sounds just like the Illiberal approach, eh? Full Article

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A friend once evinced great compassion for a visitor, his wife's old school chum, who came down with Giardia shortly after arriving. As if guided by remote control, he whisked his wife aside and waited on this visitor for all the days of her illness. Yes, that's right the visitor was female, and a blonde and gorgeous female at that. When his wife finally put her foot down and asked him if he would have been so generous if the visitor had been the blonde's senile grandfather, all he could mutter was, "Er..."

That's why the media deluge over the Queen Mother's death largely fell on deaf ears. At 101, the grande damme was no match for the beautiful Diana, P rincess of Fantasies.

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