How Safe Are We From The Howard Government?
Harold Hark
24 July 2003

"Paranoia is the onset of the discovery that everything is connected"
- Thomas Pynchon, "Gravity's Rainbow"

The incredible story from sievx.com is worth a shudder.

Over the last few months we have noticed a sharp increase in traffic to sievx.com from computers identified by two IP numbers - 152.91.9.13, also known as coopers.sge.net and 152.91.9.43, also known as limonite.sge.net. (IP stands for Internet protocol - an IP number or address is the unique number of each computer connected to the Internet)

The increase was so dramatic - upwards of 600 hits per day from the first IP number - that we decided to investigate further.

On examining our logs we discovered an interesting pattern - every morning in the wee small hours, at exactly 1.42 or 1.43am, sievx.com is visited by the first IP number which stays for around three hours and sweeps the website, downloading and/or scanning a significant proportion of our files - about 600 every visit. Later in the morning on weekdays it returns and examines about half a dozen pages - the ones that have been added, edited or linked during the previous day.

[We] have discovered that a significant proportion of sievx.com is being downloaded every night by government watchdogs - either an as yet unknown government department or the outsourced private company that handles its internet security (90East.com).

'90East helps ASIO ferret out spies and subversive elements. "There's a process established by which we inform our highly protected customers of what's going on and give them as much information as possible."'
Brian Denehy, quoted in The Men who hold off Canberra's cyber siege

It would appear that the men holding off Canberra's cyber siege are now laying siege to siev.x.com.

The question is, who else are they monitoring?

Not me, surely.

But just in case a visit is imminent, I am going to install a laser-guided mechanism that, when switched on, will cube the first Potter Stewarter who sets foot on the driveway. (With any luck, the first victim will be the neighbour's cat, who uses a corner of my front lawn for its litter box.)

Alternatively, I could install a small speaker on the porch (similar to the ones that play jaunty music outside mall entrances). When the already installed Arlec Wireless Movement Activated Sensor shines forth brightly, having detected one or more intruders, a cassette tape would be triggered, issuing the following warning in my most sinister voice: "Freeze, Mother-Stewarters," accompanied by the sound of a Bazooka being cocked. (I'm sure such a .wav file is out there on the Net.) Of course, if there is only one Mother-Stewarter I am sunk. The lone intruder will then know his momentary fright was caused by a recording and proceed to kick my door in. Then again, ASIO always works in teams of Potter Stewart-wits so these devices may just work.

The thing is, I received an interesting email a few weeks ago, titled "yr web page". It read:

Thanks for your email. Please put me on your email list. I am 70 years old and have had a visit from 2 federal police reading me my rights and threatening/intimidating me with further action. This is an interesting story too much to put on this message. I recorded the interview and sent copy of tape and letters to many many people. I think it is important to spread the message (s) as far and wide as possible. any email addresses you have would help me in my activitiesThanks, regards etc. (The sender gave an email address from primus.com.au)

First, I sent no email to this person. (Nor did I subsequently put him or her on my mailing list.) Second, without divulging the "interesting story," he or she wanted me to send "any email addresses". Ha-ha. Third, 70-year-olds rarely use "yr" as a contraction of "your", though it's not impossible, and even more rarely are they threatened and/or intimidated by the Federal Police without saying why.

I replied, suggesting the person send me the "interesting story" before we conducted any more business. Nothing further was heard from this concerned citizen. Perhaps ASIO has absconded with the old dear.

Am I being paranoid? Or just silly! Sievx.com has real worries, while I'm just a bile ripper from the burbs. Still, there is no reason not to believe that one of SCATT's subscribers could be an ASIO operative quietly and patiently collecting scandalous data for a subsequent lynching.

The point is: Do I care?

Nah.

Even though a fellow Webster was recently warned by a "very uptight Liberal that by running a political site I was risking the loss of my house through defamation".

I've had a full (well, half full), rich (wait a minute, that's not true at all) life (I can confirm to being alive).

All I ask is that when they come at 5 am with their little Rehnquists throbbing in their jocks, it will take them long enough to hack down the front door for me to send the following email I have prepared in advance:

Dear Subscribers,

This is no update, it is an emergency email to let you know that John Howard's Australia is kicking down my front door this very minute. If it turns out to be a Jehovah's Witness desperate to save my soul before sunrise, I will let you know with deepest apologies for the scare. If not....

Adios,
Harold Hark

Although no one really knows how they will react until the thing happens, I can (almost) guarantee that my bad attitude will cause me to be either dead or reduced to a brain dead blob within 72 hours.

As the Boy Scouts used to say when the Scoutmaster entered the dorm and they scrambled to find the KY: Be Prepared!

PS: If you haven't seen it before, you might want to check out the past to see the future: Be the first on your block to disappear!

Top