Flash Mobs: A way to make 'em squirm
Harold Hark
14 August 2003

Surrealism and Dada are back! Not since the days of Marcel Duchamp have people had the chance to assemble for no other purpose than to harmlessly blow the minds of innocent bystanders.

Last week in Montreal 200 people materialised in the Place des Arts and began to quack and hurl rubber ducks into a fountain. The ducks weren't really necessary and probably lessened the affect because of the cleanup required. The important part was the quacking. Imagine leaving your Kafkaesque floor of wage-slave cubicles for a relaxing half hour lunch break in the noonday sun, only to have 200 people suddenly materialise and start quacking like ducks!

You might suddenly become fond of the idea that reality is a Rorschach ink-blot.

In New York's Times Square, 300 people gazed at a giant dinosaur in a toy store window, then fell to the ground screaming.

These people belonged to a flash mob group. The meeting place and designated action was emailed to them and then later the exact time was sent as a text message to their cell phones.

Of course, if you were a conservative, you would conclude that these were just a lot of wankers who should remove the rings from their noses and get a job.

But conservatives, especially those in high places, are just the people flash mobs should be targeting.

I've put forward this idea before: Humiliating Howard With A Fruity Raspberry. When Misleading Magoo (or any of his henchmen) appears in public, say when he drops by his favourite commercial radio station for a few minutes of conning the talkback chumps with his lies about this or that, he could be met on his way in by an instantly assembled chorus of raspberries, the old Bronx Cheer. The possible scenarios are only limited by the imagination of the assembled. All that is needed is access to his itinerary and time to send out the emails and, if needed, an SMS alert for further instructions.

The wonder of this is that the action is predetermined, which would eliminate or stifle the infiltration of political fanatics from shouting their tired old Socialist or otherwise slogans. These kind of events last a couple of minutes at most.

If the likes of Magoo, Christopher Pyne, Santo Santoro, Tony Abbott, Philip Ruddock, et al were in constant angst over who and what was going to greet them around the next corner, we, the rubbished citizens who don't count in this Howardocracy would achieve one hell of a lot of satisfaction.

There is a fledgling Flash Mob group in Melbourne. To see what they are up to, check out Melbourne's Indymedia. I'm not sure if they intend to get political, but that day is coming.

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