Proposed lyrics for a new Australian national anthem
by Maurice Fairfield

John Howard's push for unprecedented personal power and his dedication to the Monarchy seem to be converging paths. Can we soon expect the opening of a local branch headed by a self-crowned King John? The time may be coming for a new national anthem based on realities and forsaking the fairy-tales of equality, universal opportunity, and shared prosperity in Advance Australia Fair. What could be better than the old tune from jolly old, which everybody knows, suitably modified.

God save ungracious John
Long live ignoble John
God save our John
Unmeritorious
Mean and inglorious
Long to reign over us
God save our John

Farewell the ABC
Goodbye democracy
God help us all
Castrate the Senate soon
If they won't sing his tune
Sedated let us croon
God save our John

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