Umeruhca: Mother Of All Terrorist States
Harold Hark
22 March 2004

Imperfect to the core, I tend to get angry more often than not these days. Whenever this happens I revert to swearing in my mother tongue. Unfortunately, that tongue is Umeruhcan English.

Other languages may boast more colourful curse words, but Umeruhcan swearing is the nastiest, the most violent.

This is hardly surprising. Umeruhcans are the most violent people since Attila's Huns. Instructed from birth to revere the lawless wild west, they start killing one another the minute their rage quotient rises above mild. Add to this a wacky belief in Christ as a Christian soldier and it is easy for them to turn the rage outward. The reason the world has not suffered more nuclear devastation at their hands (Nixon wanted to nuke Vietnam, Bush's junta has considered nuclear devices in Iraq) is that being a Christian/Capitalist nation, they have come to realise that it takes the living to fill their coffers with filthy lucre. Most Muslims only dream of filthy lucre; for them the rage has remained undiluted.

The German and Soviet governments of WWII, who racked up more deaths per nation than any in history, can't be said to have done so out of blind rage. They slaughtered according to plan. The Germans even called a special heads of government conference at Wannsee to iron out the difficulties and fine tune the logistics.

Umeruhca is quantitatively different. It's government won't kill you unless you stand in the way of some profitable commodity--the Iraqis own rich oil reserves--or your government happens to be anti-capitalist--Spain's new Socialist government is already an unrelenting target of official US hatred. If you belong in these categories, you don't stand a chance. Otherwise you will be left alone to spend all your money on Hegemony Sam's commercial interests.

Unlike Germany or the Soviet Union, whose people remained out of the spotlight because of the limited technology of the day, Umeruhcans are all over the media. We hear and see from every state the words and gestures of the ugliest people ever to walk this planet of woes. That ugliness is not intrinsic, but a direct result of a culture that for several generations has been removed, through commercial television and a dumbed-down education system, from the reality the rest of share. Umeruhcans suffer further from a patriotic indoctrination of superiority based largely on lies, and above all, from an adolescent worship of literal Christianity.

It's the shits to hate your own country. I used to differentiate between the good guys and the bad guys, but I don't even like the people I like any more. None of them seem to realise that the country they still love has become an object of worldwide revulsion.

Muslims have their reasons to hate this arrogant, ignorant nation, but so does everyone else. Right wing politicians keep telling us that Islam hates the West because "of who we are". Well, just who are we but a coalition of white supremacists whose foreign policies have ever been imperialist? Were this not the historical case, an Osama bin Laden would have been the leader of a very small group of fanatics not unlike the Ku Klux Klan.

I am one of many who do not believe 9/11 would have happened if George W. Bush had not stolen the presidency from Al Gore. This coup has thrown the world into turmoil. And what brings my anger to the boil is how commentators keep overlooking this bleedingly obvious theft and its consequences.

The very thought of George W. Bush drives me to apoplexy. How could such a dimwit, a veritable village idiot, be in control of the most powerful nation on earth, and have gotten away with it? Because Umeruhcans allowed it to happen. Instead of taking to the streets to protest the theft of their putative democracy, they took the 1930s German option and looked the other way. Here we have a people who consider themselves to be the protectors of all that is just and good, but beneath that Bible-thumping veneer of born again Christianity beats the heart of a pack-raping footy player. Blind, deaf and dumb, and above all immature, Umeruhcans have allowed their country, the former engine of modern civilisation, to become the greatest threat to world peace since Hitler's Germany.

Al Qaeda is but a subset to the threat posed by the Umeruhca of George W. Bush. It is he and his gun-toting nation of hive-minded psychopaths who have brought to fruition the hatred nurtured for decades by an imperialist foreign policy. That hatred is now at the doorstep of everyone on earth.