It is unbelievable, but the maxim born in Biblical times: "he who lives by the sword, dies by the sword," applies to the early years of the 21st century.

And the perpetrators of this return to hell on earth? The likes of George W. Bush, Ariel Sharon, Vladimir Putin, and their deputies, Tony Blair, and John Howard. Their militant, almost alien, ignorance of their species is the cause and terrorism is the effect. More...

The Invasion, in which a few Sons of Empire offloaded a bunch of misérables.

Slaughter the Aboriginals, who, in our enlightened estimation, were far more terrifying than the other equally strange fauna and flora.

White Australia, excluding, to our cigar-chomping satisfaction, all other coloured races, except for use as servants and sexual playthings.

Remove the children from the remaining Aborigines with the intent to breed out their ungodly colour and make them love Jesus like we did.

Exert our manly power over some 500,000 other children who were orphaned for one reason or another.

John Howard is our Prime Minister. --HH

"After months of listening to the Republicans base their campaign on their singular ability to win the war on terror, the president now says we can't win the war on terrorism."

"If interest rates . . . were to rise to the average of what they were under previous Labor governments, that would add an additional $960 a month to the average mortgage of the average Australian family."

To arrive at this figure, Howard applied Keating government interest rates to a Latham government. To do the same to the Liberals would be to apply Fraser rates to a Howard Government - and that implies Howard would increase mortgage payments by $621 a month.

If this drivel is the level of economic debate at the start of the election campaign, God knows where we will be by the end of it. It is inaccurate as history, ridiculous as economic analysis, and offers backward-looking smears instead of forward-looking policy.

[Richard Clarke] told the ABC's Lateline program that having one party that favours the withdrawal of troops may make Australia a more attractive target.

"I think it opens the possibility of some terrorist group related to Al Qaeda wanting to do something which otherwise wouldn't be the case in an Australian election," he said.

"So oddly enough, I'm saying I don't think Al Qaeda will try to affect the US election, but because the Australian election is so similar to what happened in Spain, I would think the possibility does exist here."

Howard is first, foremost and finally a political survivor who wants to win elections - and to notch up some record scores like his hero Don Bradman. He'll do or say anything to that end. But our PM's never been driven by any emotion larger than vengeance (he's eliminated most traces of the hated Keating) or any idea bigger than the GST.

[Howard] emphasised his record as a sound economic manager and launched into blatant scaremongering about the consequences of a Mark Latham prime ministership.

Zeroing in on the most electorally tender economic issue in the mortgage-laden marginal seats, he implied that a Latham government would add $960 a month to repayments on an average new mortgage - an increase of 80 per cent.

This incendiary claim, however, ignores Labor policy, and depends on invalid assumptions.

To arrive at this figure, Howard applied Keating government interest rates to a Latham government. To do the same to the Liberals would be to apply Fraser rates to a Howard Government - and that implies Howard would increase mortgage payments by $621 a month.

Latham immediately tagged Howard's claim as "one of the great furphies of this campaign."

So I finally called the election today. Man, Democracy is such a hassle, it'd be so much easier if I could just be PM for ever and ever. Elections are so much work, too - kissing babies, making speeches, pretending you care about people and stuff.

Shut up, Mike Scrafton. Children Overboard is sooo 2001. Like, I tell so many lies, as if I'm supposed to remember the details of just one lie that happened years ago. And now Labor are saying that I've lied 27 times, which is such crap. I've lied way more times than that. I mean, I lie at least once a day, and that's usually just when Alex Downer asks, "Does my bum look big in this?" Credit where credit's due, please.

The chatter in Washington is that Bush is a "borderline" personality-disorder type, exacerbated by the fact that he went cold turkey at the age of 40 without passing through Alcoholics Anonymous' 12-point recovery program. This, it is argued, leaves him as a "dry drunk" prone to other addictions - such as fundamentalist religion.

In Britain, the Prime Minister's increasingly messianic tone worries observers. The distinguished Times columnist (and ex-MP) Matthew Parris even wrote an extraordinary article entitled 'Are we witnessing the madness of Tony Blair?' - arguing that his simple-minded conviction over Iraq was cause for serious concern. "Great leaders," he wrote, "share with great confidence tricksters a capacity to be more than persuaded, but inhabited, by their cause. Almost inevitably, an inspirational leader spends important parts of his life certain of the uncertain, convinced of the undemonstrable. So do the mentally ill!"