Archives 26 September-02 October 2004 Saturday, 2 October 2004 - Oz at the Crossroads, one week to go
John Howard And The Cult Of Lowered Expectations
 You hear it from every Coalition member of Parliament. You hear it from all their supporters. It is the common thread to all of their negative messages to Australians. And they have spent eight and a half years delivering it.
Be conservative with your hopes and dreams for a better society, a better world. When someone comes along who promises to enrich your lowered expectations treat them with suspicion. Instead of responding to that surge of joy running through your veins at the prospect of feeling generous to everyone and not just yourself, react by denouncing the perpetrator of such illusions as an atheist or a communist or a terrorist.
Medicare Gold? Relief from death-hastening anxiety for over-75s? Don't you believe it. It can't be done. It's a hoax. It's pie-in-the-sky. Above all it is Utopian. And we all know that Utopians are child-molesting socialists at heart.
It is not the conservative way to believe that things can be better for anyone. Keep your optimism to a respectable minimum. A few dollars of tax relief here, a grudging wage increase there. That's enough, don't expect more. Unless you've already got more than you need.
John Howard, the conservative poster boy fogy, regarded by pinch-faced old ladies as a spunk, has spent three terms trying to make Australians in his image. And he appears to have succeeded. Widely believed to be on his way to winning a fourth term, John Howard will become the conclusive spokesman for a nation of cowardly and insipidly dull sheep. --HH |
The First Kerry-Bush Debate
Bush, like his doppelganger John Howard, resorted to saying the same things over and over again. Unlike Howard, he did so because he is stupid. You realised just how stupid, how simple he is by watching him grow smaller and smaller behind the podium as he grappled with syntax and especially policy. More... |
It Can't Happen Here. (Can It?)
We know that when George W. Bush throws a bone, John W. Howard comes a-runnin', spittle drooling over that lower lip just made for licking boots, arses, you name it. Well, Big Dubya (with help from the Democrats) wants to start drafting Umeruhcans of both sexes between the ages of 18 and 26, commencing 15 June 2005. How else is he going to replace all those youngsters he's ordered to die for Uncle God over there in Eyerak? There are over a thousand expendable corpses already and they need replacing, pronto! Especially when his throbbing Johnson gets all hot to trot and tells him its time to Roger Eyeran. He'll need a whole new slew of fodder then.
Cunning Christian soldiers in his administration have already seen to it that draft dodging to Canada won't work, 'cause the two countries signed "smart border declaration" to catch the lily-livered, yellow-bellied humanitarians at customs. Something about a "pre-clearance agreement" each and every citizen of both nations will have to obtain before crossing the border. Sound like Vietnam all over again? Not to forget the Soviet Union and its satellite states? You betcha.
Oh, and going to university won't work as an exemption any more. At least not with the poor folk. Conservatives just love ignorant citizens. How else are they going to stay in power?
With Big Dubya's re-election, the world can count on non-stop conflagration, so it stands to reason that the re-election of L'il Dubya will likely see the lottery balls dropping on the future or our kids too.
Ain't life grand. (Wasn't it.) --HHLINKS:
• Pending Draft Legislation Targeted for Spring 2005
• Congress considers drafting everyone age 18-26
• Moran Warns of Quiet Plans to Reinstate Draft
• Dems: Draft stirrings hurt GOP
• Draft still debated
• Current bills before Congress - There are two bills: S 89 and HR 163. Type them one at a time in Bill Number box and hit search. |
"Fang" Abbott up to his dirty tricks again?
Somehow, Tony Abbott had forgotten all about his visit to Pell Pot just days before the throwback to the days of nun-cleaving popes joined St Peter Jensen to denounce Labor's education policy: The media is reporting that Sydney's Cardinal George Pell - who has been highly critical of Labor's education policy - met with Liberal frontbencher Tony Abbott days before making this week's joint statement with the Catholic Archbishop of Melbourne and the Anglican Archbishops of Sydney and Melbourne.
Mr Abbott initially denied the meeting with Cardinal Pell, but recalled the meeting after further prompting from interviewer Tony Jones.
"Actually now that you mentioned it I did meet with Cardinal Pell," Mr Abbott said. "So what? Why shouldn't I meet with Cardinal Pell? I may well have been going to confession to Cardinal Pell. I may well have been seeking pastoral counselling from Cardinal Pell. What is so sinister about that?" Why, nothing at all, Brother Abbott, nothing at all. --HH
Catholic News: Abbott admits meeting Pell before archbishops' statement
Full Lateline Transcript (scroll down) |
New entry in Little Johnny Howard Songbook
Here are the first three verses of a song that should have been on "Rock Against Howard": --HHThe Rodent called a poll for October 9
He said I'm the man of steel, I'm Bush's bride
The cabinet was worried, but he just smiled
I'll just tell a lie, just tell a lie, just tell a lie
I won in 2001 'cos I told a lie
I said they threw kids overboard, and that was a lie
Those refugees were easy to demonise
I just told a lie, just told a lie, just told a lie
I became PM again, when I told a lie
I said there'd be no GST, and that was a lie (Never ever, dude)
I told 'em taxes won't increase, again I lied (It's all non core brother)
Yeah I told a lie, another lie, another lie More: Chimneyfish: I Told a Lie |
Laughter in the Dark
Jill Singer's column in the Herald Sun (30/9/04) serves up a series of answers to the question, "How many (fill in the blank) does it take to change a light bulb"? She covers the Labor Party, the Greens, Family First, and, er, the Democrats. But of interest here is the Coalition: --HHHow many members of the Howard Government does it take to change a light bulb?
A) One to deny the light bulb needs changing.
B) One to say it's un-Australian to want light.
C) Three to accuse bureaucrats of not advising them the bulb was on the blink.
D) One to silence the bureaucrats who claim they repeatedly advised re: parlous state of the bulb.
E) Three to point out that children locked behind razor wire don't need light.
F) One to court Right-wing evangelical Christians who have seen the elusive light.
G) One to find a pink globe for Ross Cameron's office.
H) Two to suggest that light bulbs will cost a thousand bucks if Latham wins.
I) One to hint Latham will get his bulbs from al-Qaida.
J) Five to announce free light bulbs for all child care centres.
K) One to advise the PM to keep voters in the dark. |
Are all men rapists...or worse? Neuromarketing will tell
It had to happen. Using a new technique called functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), scientists and, above all, executives are scanning brains to find out what really turns us on....women [were shown] a trailer starring wrestler-turned-action hero The Rock. In traditional surveys women generally rate The Rock as unattractive, but their brain activity says otherwise: areas associated with facial attractiveness light up when women watch him on screen. Now, the part of the brain, the Putamen, that is responding positively to The Rock, deals with primitive instincts, so it may be a holdover from the caveman days. But stick the electrodes to the skulls of most men, especially, but not exclusively, conservatives and larval evangelicals, and you will find their holy family first cover blown by some part of the brain salivating after civilisation's worst nightmare. --HH
Emily Singer: They know what you want |
This brochure, one of 85,000 personally paid for by a private citizen, was put in the letter boxes of all marginal seats in Victoria. The author's email address: Christopher Morgan. Below is a copy of the Post Office internal memo banning Morgan's flyer. |
Wednesday, 29 September 2004 - Oz at the Crossroads, 10 days to go
Tuesday, 28 September 2004 - Oz at the Crossroads, 11 days to go
John Howard: The World's First Mealy-mouthed Demagogue
At heart, Mark Latham is not a phoney, but John Howard is and he's running the show. And he's turned it into a carnival, the kind that travelled from village to village in the days Howard still lives in. He's the whey-faced prig trying to sell snake oil while his henchmen distract the rubes by biting the heads off chickens. More... |
Is this election rigged?
It goes without saying that if the ALP and its leader, Mark Latham, had embarked on a spending spree even remotely like [the Government's] during the past month (yes, the campaign hits the one-month mark tomorrow), it would have already been finished as a live prospect at this election. The thunder and lightning directed at Labor by the Coalition, editorialists, commentators and economists for such wanton recklessness would have been of Old Testament proportions.
But different rules appear to apply to the Government, which has succeeded in persuading a lot of media gatekeepers to accept the notion that the budget surplus is a re-election fund for the exclusive use of the Coalition. When Howard spends the surplus, he's a canny, indomitable political fighter. Shaun Carney: Howard's re-election squad |
Monday, 27 September 2004 - Oz at the Crossroads, 12 days to go
John "The Spiv" Howard's Non-Core Policy Ratfest |
| There he was, marching as to war on just about everybody's idea of reality, the gladhanding, dollar-tossing saviour of an Australia about to go mad. This joker wins and the national anthem will have to be revised to something like this: --HH John Howard is a piece of shit,
on this we can agree.
His ratlike head and puny frame
are hideous to see.
His ugly mouth and bottom lip
that dribbles when he speaks.
And breath that smells of carrion,
that has been dead for weeks.
In mournful strains then let us ask
the why, the when and where?
For all we'll get toward the end
is Howard's pubic hair.
With bowel strains then let us sing,
'John Howard's - pubic hair' A slightly changed version of "Tim's" Howard's Anthem: The Road Surfdom |
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