THE SUBS 'N' DUDS

REPORT

INTRODUCTION

Following is our introduction to the 1996 series of clandestine newsletters sent to various people in the media. We didn't always get it right and sometimes made foolish errors of fact. Some of it is over the top, but then, that was our aim. The fundamentals were always on the side of humanity.

We've cleaned up some of the typos, and changed a few glaring errors, but by and large all issues are untouched.

Issue No 10 marks the first occurence of Gort Slypesunder's Where's Me Tablets! though issues before that are now properly credited. Harold Hark was never mentioned (except in the introduction to Sir Bully and Lady Bubbles, issue 10, a true story). Paranoia got the better of us until the publication of Scum at the Top!

The Sir Bully and Lady Bubbles episodes were origanally called "The Ceaucescus of V......., perhaps the best reason to remain anonymous.

Hope you enjoy them,
Cheers, HH

Not since THE RESIGN JEFF! REVIEW has a broadside of such frothing political innuendo come your way!

Yes, as the world goes under, country by country, to the New Dictatorship of Economic Rationalism (as brought to its victims by the Multinationals, the World Bank, the IMF), it is once again time for this apocalypse of selves to unite and BURST FORTH WITH GNASHING, LURID HYPERBOLE.

And yes, we have all cried until blue of face, "But Thatcher-Reagan economics hasn't worked. Just look at the mess in the UK and USA!" To that exasperated plea, the Multi-corpse and its hired governments just sit back, preening their collective moustaches and reply, "Hasn't worked for whom? Nya-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Capitalism, without its old adversary communism to provide some lopsided balance, is running amuck; the return to 19th century Master/Servant relations is nearly in place. Glutted and shapeless from unopposed victimisation, it is devouring our overpopulated planet. An easy task, really, since most of us have no time left for things spiritual or cultural, absorbed as we are in trying to pay those ever-increasing bills. The collaborators, on the other hand, are having a ball.

THE SUBS 'N' DUDS REPORT is a "samizdat-on-a-shoestring," dedicated to the use of purple prose in reminding its readers of flagrant abuses of power by those who would corporatise government and strip citizens of their rights. We intend to freely accuse and vilify, to laugh at and mock the usurpers and their hubris. We intend to make trouble and go down fighting (verbally that is). Let's face it, if Jeff Kennett, the wheel clamper of Victorian politics, is returned come 30 March, then it's war.

How we would love to provide an address, so that you could tell us to keep up the good work or to get lost. Without feedback, it's kind of lonely here. Unfortunately, Jeff 'Ain't Corruption Grand' Kennett has the capacity and the will to snuff out all criticism. We fear for our families. Nevertheless, the jury is still out as to whether we will publish an address in the future.

WHAT TO EXPECT IN FORTHCOMING ISSUES:

TWO-BOB WATCH. A column inspired by Queensland's larval good ol' boys, Katter and Burgess, Two-Bob Watch will take a look at Australia's current dog whistlers, that is, those shiny-faced, beer-bellied, code-speakers promoting racism in the name of freedom of speech.

DEMOCRACIDE IN VICTORIA (and elsewhere). Recent legislation which protects business while marginalising the rest of us. For instance, the South Australian Liberal Government wants to exclude local councils from having any say when it comes to projects the Government deems vital to State development. Ergo, while the councils can give we the people permission to prune trees on our nature strips, the corporatised state government will decide if the corner lot is suitable for some Roman Era development, and to hell with us and the council.

QUOTATIONS OF CHAIRMAN JEFF. The annotated comments of Mighty Merchant, himself.

THE THREE SCROOGES: RON, LLOYD, & JEFF. As well as their latest plans for the use of taxpayers' funds to enrich themselves, this spot will feature their latest protestations of innocence at corruption allegations, and their recent arrogant pronouncements of cynical disregard for the intelligence of Victorians.

COALITION SUPPORTERS: Typical Profiles of the kind of born yesterday subs 'n' duds who should have been sent back to the factory at birth for the very obvious defect of being born with no social conscience whatsoever.

ECONO-RATS ON PARADE: Satirical profiles of behind-the-scenes consultants whose corruption-smelling wages encourage job-lopping and spending cuts to beef up the bottom line. In other words, methods of making real people miserable in order to fatten a phantom set of figures set up by the New Dictators.

LEST WE FORGET: Reminders of the Coalition's savage cuts over the last three years.

AND SO MUCH MORE....!

Top    On to Subs 'n' Duds No 1