| Australia's Journal of Political Character Assassination | Melbourne, Australia |
SCUM AT THE TOP | 20 August 1999 |
| Editor: Harold Hark | Volume 2 Number 2 |
Australia: Creepy John's Land of Shame Australia, under John Howard, continues on it's course to becoming the world's new pariah. His narrow, self-absorbed world view has brought fellow travellers out of the closet, people heretofore unaware or too embarrassed or to let others know of their xenophobic, racist, perhaps even murderous natures--the Serbian killers in Kosovo were, after all, quiet neighbours before Milosevic convinced them otherwise. In four short years the Howard Government has reversed a worldwide affection for this country. We are now seen as a nation of grubby opportunists, willing to hurt others and the planet to get our greedy way. We are the villains in the melodrama between good and evil; worse, we are seen to be the used car salesmen in the melodrama. Not clever, not creative, but rumpled, with cheap whisky stains on the contracts of our devious little deals. Howard may have been outraged over the Clinton administration's protectionist policy for lamb producers, but hasn't he in effect done the same for the mining industry by conning the world at Kyoto into allowing us to increase environmental pollution in order to save a few jobs? (Actually just to preserve relations with his mates in the industry?) By pressuring UNESCO to allow further mining at Jabiluka? His refusal to apologise to the Aboriginal community for past crimes against humanity--not his, not ours, but the country's--and his wilfully racist Wik legislation have sickened the free world. Taking his lead, John Laws has thrown all caution to the wind, declaring in effect that principles are for sale and wouldn't you? We've heard it from Jeff Kennett for years. The Immigration Minister, Philip Ruddock, behaved like a third world tyrant over the Kosovan family revolt at Singleton. As one writer to the letters page of a leading newspaper said, "When I invite guests to stay, I don't put them up in the garden shed." Michael Knight, Olympics Minister and president of SOCOG (anyone for conflict of interest?), has shown himself to be both morally incognizant and catastrophically naive in his handling of the marching bands scandal. In what almost amounts to child abuse, he invited--a year ago!--1500 children from America and Japan to take part in the opening ceremonies, only to reverse the invitation several months later, after the kids had secured bank loans, held sausage sizzles, washed cars and, quite possibly, as they do in America, organised their smaller siblings to sell lemonade on the family nature strip. And now, under threat of hefty lawsuits, Knight has given in, without any apparent comprehension of the beating Australia's reputation has taken. Knight and SOCOG have behaved like a bully who offers a lolly to a trusting child and then snatches it away. And all this, because of a mob of xenophobic talkback scum. It is the unconscionable first step to treating people as the Serbs did in Kosovo. This is all about business and its blindness to social consequences. Promise the suckers anything to get their money or their votes or their voluntary, unpaid, participation. Then throw them away. It almost worked at Oakleigh Colliery, didn't it? It is the way of hucksters, shysters, con artists, snake oil salesman. It is the way being promoted, in his peculiarly aggressive/diffident way, by John Howard, the man still noted for decency and principles. What a sick joke. From his defence of rorting ministers to his reversal on Mal Colston's vote, he shows us on a daily basis that he is utterly ignorant of what it means to act nobly. HH Where are the Left Wing Shock Jocks? As John Laws and 2UE squirm under the scrutiny of their deal with the banks, one wonders anew at the proliferation of the Laws model on radio around the world. Right Wing ratbags berating callers with consciences while lap-dogging it with the foam-lipped. Talk back radio has resulted in a world wide forum for Hansonite xenophobes, while the rest of us have to deal with presenters who are so concerned with balance that they often wind up pandering to the right. A case in point: Terry Lane's Sunday/Monday hour on RN, "In the National Interest," featured a recent interview with Peter Reith. As the one-sided slanging match progressed--Reith wouldn't let Lane get a word in--you had to wonder when Terry was going to tell him to get stuffed. But that is not done on the national broadcaster, especially by one, Terry Lane. A commercial radio presenter would most likely be on Peter Reith's politico-cultural side, that is, the exclusive, philistine, business-before-rights set. John Laws, Stan Zemanek, Alan Jones, would have rounded on someone speaking inclusively. Alas, there are no left-wing shockies because commercial radio is a business, and business is by nature right wing. No member of the coalition--elected under the slogan "for all of us"--is going to be harangued by someone who is speaking for all of us. Still, there must be people on the left who are every bit as adept at haranguing as John Laws. The PPF nominates Rod Quantock, perhaps Australia's foremost political satirist. Rod has recently thrown in the towel on his supremely biting, anti-Kennett comedy shows. Protest and satire, he says, have made no difference in Victoria. With Kennett controlling both houses, and his reputation for pursuing the slightest whiff of libel, along with his intellect-defying popularity, especially among the 18-24 year olds, there seems to be a brick wall in the face of all dissent. Quantock believes it is time to reassess how dissent finds its expression. Well, we have seen the power of talkback radio. Surely one of the major stations could find a place for this champion of the left? The ABC would be perfect, but it is slowly being asphyxiated by the repressive Howard Government. HH WHERE'S ME TABLETS! Public service retrenchments on the federal and state levels have halved the intake for under-25's in the past four years. Sue Mountford of the Victorian branch of the Community and Public Sector Union says, "the loss of public service jobs at the expense of young people is a national scandal at a time when the Government is promoting measures to reduce youth unemployment." Well, we know the Government just loves its Orwellian newspeak, but what really makes us despair for the human race is that these same under-25's, John Howard's Young Fogeys, are getting behind the Coalition in greater and greater numbers. Are they stupid? Masochists? Or are they the age group who never used to be around, who were traditionally used as cannon fodder in wars waged "for all of us!" GS Richard Pratt, Mr Community Service Richard Pratt, the paper czar, recently gave a million dollars to Scotch College--the school that churns out Jeff Kennett clones the likes of which no self-respecting father would ever let his daughter marry. Pratt never went there nor has any of his family ever gone there, but it must have made him feel loved by the people who count. Here's a wheeler and dealer who made his fortune, not from discovering cancer-preventing enzymes, but from reprocessing papyral rubbish and reselling it. Pratt is no toff, as the bluebloods at Scotch will have noticed, and while his gift will be sneeringly appreciated, it will earn him historical condemnation instead of the heroism he would have been accorded had he given this tax deductable fortune to the dying public school system. GS The Forces of Jeff Conquer Victoria Jeff Kennett's decisive victory over the forces of Kroger and Costello in the battle for Brighton has secured his position as the Sultan of Victoria, soon to be renamed Gibbsland. Jeff's human shield in the little war of big stakes was Louise Asher, the woman who got the preselection in his name. One of the most remarkable things about her, aside from her political tenacity, is her face. Unlike most Coalition women, hers is animate! Unfortunately, like most Coalition men, it slips so easily into a popolo-hating sneer. GS After a Hard Day of Lord Kennett's fave bootlicker wiles away his spare hours trying to improve that strangled accent. He knows it makes him sound like he's talking on the tips of his toes, poor soul. He also wants to improve that blank stare he provides the cameras when questioned about the collapse of the hospital system. He's been accused of indifference to the Labor voters who seem disgruntled at having to spend three days on a trolley before getting so much as a bowl to puke in. "Well!" says he, "if they were Liberals they'd have their own room and a servant to fetch bowls!" You see? He's not indifferent. Oh, he'd love to be indifferent, it's something he strives for. No, poor Rob is simply insensate, oblivious. As he stands before the cameras, there is a sound in his head that he tries very hard to listen to. It is the sound of soft white noise on a dead planet. A nice dead planet, mind you. GS |
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