| Australia's Journal of Political Character Assassination | Melbourne, Australia |
SCUM AT THE TOP | Next Issue: 10 Jun 2000 |
| Editor: Harold Hark | Volume 4 Number 11 |
Corroboree 2000: The Sydney Morning Herald editorial (29 May) says it best THE PEOPLE AND THE PM "On the trains, on the Bridge, people spoke of Mr Howard's speech the day before at the Opera House, at the ceremony for the handing over of the Declaration Towards Reconciliation. It was the deadly sameness, the obduracy it implied, which people did not like. At the Opera House, before a gathering of dignitaries such as is rarely assembled in Australia, Mr Howard was jeered. On the bridge next day he was physically absent but on people's minds, as one so spiritually out of touch as to have lost the claim of leadership. People are tired of the evasion, the point-scoring and the sheer mean-spiritedness of the Federal Government on questions of relations between black and white. The gulf between Mr Howard and popular feeling on the issue has never been wider. The repeated opportunities to close the gap have been spurned. Mr Howard speaks of putting the past behind and moving on. But the past is not so easily dismissed. It can never be put behind until it is squarely faced and dealt with honestly. Until then, all its twisted evil of mistrust and recrimination simply returns to haunt the nation over and again, endlessly disturbing its peace and harmony. Mr Howard does not recognise this. He continues to treat the question of relations between black and white as any other political question, calculated in costs and benefits, on broad principles simplistically and often unfairly applied. To move forward, Mr Howard should use his authority as leader of the government to apologise on behalf of the nation for the wrongs done to the Aboriginal people in the past. Instead, he maintains a pettifogging refusal to apologise for things he or his generation did not do. At the same time he makes - as he did again on Saturday - a bad situation worse by introducing confusion, expressing his own personal "sorrow and regret for the pain of the past". Mischievously, or through genuine inability to understand, he refuses to see that in this context no-one is interested in his personal feelings. As a first step to advancing relations between black and white, what matters most is an apology - not Mr Howard's personal apology, but one on behalf of the nation. Yesterday's walk and other expressions of popular feeling throughout Australia must give the Government pause. People sense what must be done to achieve reconciliation. They want a fresh start in relations between black and white. They want it because it is fair. They want it for their own peace of mind as well as the health and welfare of the Aboriginal people. They do not want the narrow, destructive course Mr Howard is pursuing." AND A LETTER TO THE AUSTRALIAN: "The People's Walk should convince John Howard he doesn't have to say sorry. He really should say 'I resign!'" Fred Strassberg, Belrose NSW On Friday, 19 May 2000, George Speight, the Australian resident and Fijian businessman with wonkier frontal lobes than Jeff Kennett's, engineered a coup against his country's democratically elected government. Disgruntled over Prime Minister Mahendra Chaudhry's disregard for his business interests, Speight stormed parliament with a handful of tough guys and took Chaudhry and other government members hostage. Reaction in Australia was swift. Upon hearing of the event Australia's Prime Cataleptic, John Howard, emerged from his natural torpor to emit the word "horrified" before going back to sleep. Australia's Foreign Minister, Little Lord Downer, shrieked "Quelle surprise!" before returning to the arduous task of mending his fish net stockings. Speight, a native Fijian, is playing the race card once again, angered that Indians have most of the power and that an Indian could have the effrontery sit on the all-Fijian Great Council of Chiefs. As well, Chaudhry managed in the one year of his government to reduce Speight's powerful business base to an intolerably minimal level. Speight no longer enjoys the close relationship with former Finance Minister Jim Ah Hoy, nor is he any longer the chairman of Fiji Pine Ltd and Fiji Hardwood Corporation, companies that control valuable but diminishing forests. Speight had been hoping "to reap a windfall through the sale of mahogany forests to American interests." Chaudhry stopped the deal, alluding to "suspicions that Fiji's best interests were not being served." (Philip Cornford and Ellen Connolly, The Age 20/5/00.) So what does it all mean? Colonialism always ends in tears? We know that. Racism is as strong as ever? We know that too. Interpretations of why the coup took place have flowed like kava. One suggests that it is purely a business deal. Business, as exemplified by Multi National Corporations, is encroaching on the sovereignty of nations the world over. The MAI was to be the equivalent of their lock and key on the effectiveness of these nations to govern in the interests of their people. It has failed so far, but have no fear, it will be back. What George Speight has done is to replace global legislative restrictions with a six-gun. As Fijian lawyer Miles Johnston, the man arrested several times by Rabuka in the 1987 coups, says, "This is payback, driven by narrow self-interest." Speight, who may be a front for others, is a businessman who is sick of having his power and interests savaged by a democratically elected government. Since he had no political power, he simply forced a coup. Then there is the suggestion that Chaudhry brought it all on himself by incompetent governance, and that native Fijians who voted for Chaudhry's Labor party had expected a Fijian to assume the role of PM. Most likely it all comes down to race. That was, after all, the root cause of Rabuka's 1987 coups. Fijians are saying that they did not invite the British to take over in 1874, nor did they invite Indian labourers to come forth and multiply. Over the years they have found themselves in the minority. You have to sympathise with them on this point. They were colonialised by foreigners. Were the same to happen to Australians by, say, the Indonesians, we would not be acquiescent. And had it happened generations ago, we might find ourselves in a similar state of revolution today. Having said that, Fiji is now part of the modern world. The Indians who live there, some for four or five generations, call the islands home. They cannot simply be marginalised at gunpoint. The Chiefs, after deliberating for several days with coconut loads of kava, have apparently caved in to Speight, signalling to the world that Fiji is now a rogue state. The 1997 constitution is to be torn up and a three-year interim government set up to devise a new one, effectively barring Indians from power. President Mara and Chaudhry are to resign or be forced to outside the legality of the present constitution, and Speight, after undergoing a trial, is to be given full pardon. The Australian Government's response to this turn of events was swift. Our Sovereign Somnambulist rolled out his lower lip for the presentation of barely audible condemnations, while the Minister for Loops and Stitches waffled on for several minutes when asked, "What will Australia do about this?" When asked again, he switched from waffles to pancakes. The latest word is that Speight refuses all or part of this agreement. He wants his pardon now. Will this failure of savvy cost him everything? Perhaps not. He has the hostages, including President Mara's daughter. And Fiji's security units are reportedly ill-equiped to mount anti-terrorist operations. This unfortunate decision signals a new era of destabilisation in Fiji. Many Indian residents will flee and those that stay will shut down the economy. It will cause Fiji to lose face with the world by failing to uphold democracy. The nation will become isolated and sanctioned and perhaps ousted from the Commonwealth. Or at least that is what should happen. Business/trade interests will, however, hold sway and signal, obliquely to be sure, that MAI is resurrected. If Speight can do it with a gun, the Multi Corpse can surely do it on paper. Finally, while the world mourns the loss of Fiji--and we are doing so by getting out our old recordings of the imperfect and heartbreaking Royal Fiji Police Band--Australian Liberals must be thanking their gilded god that Qantas no longer has to refuel at Nadi Airport. HH Put Those Chains on John Howard Letters to newspapers and talkback radio are rife with complaints about the TV campaign to unchain Howard's Battlers by reducing their incomes with the GST. We hadn't seen one until we tuned in to chump channel seven last Sunday to watch ex-Hawthorn coached ex-Fitzroy pip ex-Hawthorn coached ex-South Melbourne. Pretty appalling stuff (the ad that is), and we sincerely hope Simon Crean takes the bastards to court for pedalling lies at taxpayer's expense. But the worst aspect of this campaign of shoddy misinformation, and the one that everyone is picking up, is the cost and how the government got some of the money. It is costing taxpayers $350 million dollars, part of which has been funded by taking away dental subsidies for the poor to the tune of $100 million in the first few months of Howard's regime. This is what that other Australian Liberal Party snake, Jeff Kennett, did to Victoria over and over again. Besides using taxpayers money (including the money of Labor voters) to ram his pro-Liberal PR down their throats, he also managed to rip community services asunder in the first few months of his regime. Not one English-as-a-Second Language course survived, the sum total of withdrawn funds hardly paying for the return of Silver Service to Parliament. The most symbolic cut, however, was the withdrawal of $40,000 from the Grey Sisters of Croydon. The Grey sisters, you may recall, offered life saving R&Rs for new mothers suffering severe post-natal depression. This is how the Australian Liberal Party thinks. Shane Maloney was not engaging in hyperbole when he said, "They are the enemy of the human race." HH The debacle of the GST is nearly upon us. Australia, the only country in the history of nations to voluntarily embrace a goods and services tax, is about to enter a new era. While we know that goods we buy once in a blue moon, such as computers and cars, will be going down, items we buy every day will be going up. There is supposed to be compensation for this, but no one ever believed it would be enough or that it would even eventuate. The top end will feel no pain under the GST, which of course is usual under an Australian Liberal Party government. But just how serious will it be for the rest of us? Time will tell. If you were a betting man or woman, you would have to give long odds on the return of Howard, or even Costello, if he manages to succeed the Assiduously Tenacious One. Victorians only barely threw a similar government out of office. But federally it could be a rout of proportions never before seen. Backbenchers had better start looking for alternative employment now. Regardless of any attempts to modify the GST by a Labor Government, the odious tax, like a virus, will have infected Australia's taxation beyond repair. The face of small business will change. Long established concerns, such as non-chain booksellers, haberdashers and hardware stores are already packing it in. Just the thought of juggling stressful decisions over whether to GST or non-GST the millions of minute items found in these stores has been enough for owners to throw up their hands. Stores which could have gone on for years, if not decades, are facing paralysis at the thought of spending money they don't have on computers and necessary software to meet John Howard's anally retentive requirements. Perhaps this is no more than part of the process of evolution. "Milk man keep those bottles quiet" was a popular song once, and the bread man used to drive up the street in a quaint old vehicle containing what seemed like hundreds of polished walnut shelves, each replete with fragrant fresh bread. These things died a natural death with the advent of the supermarket, accepted now as a blessing for working people who have less and less time to spend shopping. But there is something disquieting about a way of life becoming prematurely extinct because of an unfair tax. It smacks of social engineering based on fanaticism. There is something ugly about the way this GST has come about. And one of its ugliest manifestations belongs to Meg Lees and the Australian Democrats. Without their totally unnecessary compromise for the sake of compromise, it would never have got up. Even Brian Harridine could see through it. The shape of GST things to come is still amorphous. But you can't help wondering how such an incompetent and mindless government was ever allowed to design our future. HH The state of affairs in Australian federal politics: Dr Evil Wooldridge gives Dr Democracide Kennett a job to cure Elite's of their depression. (Don't be modest now, if your Saab just had a flat tire and your live-in mechanic was at Swell's Casino with his mobile turned off, you'd be tickled pinkies your government was looking after you.) At the wage of Dollars 1900 per day, Dr Kennett certainly won't be able to look after the penniless woes of you and me, now will he? Especially since you and me will never know just what he is doing to earn that money to charge fees we could never afford. Oh, and don't forget that the government (that's still you and me) is paying his travel and accommodation. It's amazing how much it costs to get from South Yarra to Toorak. And how little it takes to go from Footscray to Broadmeadows. I guess we're lucky though. Even if we aren't socially advanced enough to be depressed, it gives us a warm feeling to contribute financially to those who are well off enough to just worry themselves sick over really important things. HH "Voters are more likely to change their votes on a whim than ever before." Millions of Australians must be looking forward to liberation from the Coalition Government with much the same desperate hope that Europeans felt about ridding themselves of the Nazis. OK, that's not a valid comparison. What's more it belittles the horrors people went through during WWII. But liberation is still the operable word. The Labor Party win in Benalla, Vic is certainly a step in that direction. Held by conservatives of one stripe or another since its inception in 1906, the good country folk turned to their century-long enemy in desperation, engineering a 15 per cent swing against the Nationals over two elections. That's a whopper. Pat McNamara took them for mugs during his reign as Deputy Premier in the Kennett Government. And yet they kept coming back for more: it's hard to believe that the man who represents you represents only himself. But when he selfishly jumped ship in the middle of his term, they could no longer keep their heads in the sand. They threw his party out of office. Proving they made a wise choice, McNamara said after the election that it was Labor's professional campaigning that lost it for the Nats. His refusal (or inability) to see the truth of his party's defeat proves what we've always thought: he's stupid. (Don't forget that he was the one who wanted to promote Geelong as the new capital of fashion over Paris!) Who now represents this country electorate? Denise Allen, Labor, a 47 year old single mother of three. Imagine that! A single mother, one of the demographic so despised by conservative self-mades is now the representative for one of the safest right wing seats in Australia. Was she the best candidate? We'll have to see. Bill Sykes, the National representative, could probably have won the seat as an independent. And he would have made a fine MP. Sykes, and those who voted for him, will have to work this conclusion over very carefully. Because the National Party may just be finished. In order to cling to government, they got too cozy with the Liberals. And what strange bedfellows in the end: The City Slickers and the Country Bumpkins. When you think about it, what does the National Party have in common with the Liberals? Besides a spirit-killing narrowness of vision concerning life's many possibilities . . . nothing. The Libs represent a moneyed elite, the top end of every town. Whether they are looking after the interests of Casino operators in Melbourne and Sydney or car dealerships in Podunk and Woop Woop, the Liberals are there to promote social exclusivity. The Nationals, on the other hand, are supposed to represent rural interests, the needs of the ever increasing marginalised demographic of small business and farm owners, and the people who work in ever decreasing regional enterprises. Perhaps the glue that has held these two parties together can best be summed up in a joint hatred of the mind. So now, the State Coalition has seen its God, Jeff Kennett, turned out of his safe seat of Burwood with an 8 per cent swing, to be followed by his Deputy, Pat McNamara sent packing with an even greater swing. Meaning exactly this: people are fed up with economic rationalism. HH The Honorary Doctorate Syndrome What is it with despots and their need to be addressed as doctor? Few have actually earned the right to be called such. It must be the power of life and death doctors have over mere mortals. But despots have that as well, and on a much grander scale. But of course we know why. An Honorary Doctorate gives tyrants a bit of credibility and respect their histories of repression and genocide belie. Maybe it's time to reverse the process, for doctor colleges to start handing out honorary Premierships or Prime Ministerships to those who have served their communities and alma maters well. Owning a Saab just isn't enough. "And to Doctor Bill Tewmuch, we are proud to award an honorary Prime Ministership. Come on up, Dr Prime Minister and take a bow." HH Kennett's Kinder Surprise Doctorate Yes, thanks to the University of Ballarat, Jeff Kennett is no longer just any old former dictator. You may now call him Dr Jeff Kennett, thank you. Belittling to PhD's and those holding Honorary Doctorates everywhere, someone at Ballarat Uni pulled a DOB out of a Kinder Surprise (or was it a Yowie?). Who arranged this scandal, so low-grade it isn't even mentioned on the BU's Web site? It certainly wasn't the teaching staff. Only four (4) out of 162 approved the abominatory award. That leaves 158 overworked souls with a veto. Even the Business Department said no. Was it Vice-Chancellor David James? After all, V-C's are a suspect lot these days. No, surely not. Anyway, there he was, resplendent in maroon hat and gown, on a stage usually reserved for those who endeavour. Describing the experience as "humbling," he promptly handed the little assemblage to front row spectator and former Minister of Health for Wealth, Rob Knowles. Knowles, who knows a thing or two about being humbled, fumbled like many of us in his attempt to put the little doctorate together before handing it in turn to the Good "Doctor's" wife, Our Friend Flicka. (Rumour has it she is in line for the Elena Ceaucescu Award for the most brilliant woman to walk the earth since Elena Ceaucescu.) Ah, the clever Flick; like all mothers, she had it up and running in no time . . . and that's no lie, for Time, gagged by the event, did indeed stop for several seconds. While lackey and wife fumbled and strove, the man of the hour gave a beaming acceptance speech in which he urged graduating students to have confidence and pride in themselves as they stepped out to con their way into the pocket books of suckers everywhere, just as he had. And so Dr Democracide joins the ranks of despots the world over in being honoured with a doctorate despite having a total disregard for, if not a genuine fear of, education. Well, perhaps the honour is really nothing more than a backhand compliment. A Doctorate of Business isn't quite in the same league as a Doctorate of Economics, for which the likes of John Hewson at least had to attend university for a year or two. Or was it night school? Never mind. Dr Jeff Kennett, by virtue of his ability to promote business over human rights and get a guernsey for it, is forever enshrined in Victoria's Hall of Shame. HH "Doctor" Mahathir Mohamed, the squirrelly little smiling assassin of South East Asia, has had a few choice words for our Johnny. "Stay home and sort out your own racial problems," was more or less what he had to say. Oh, and he also said of Howard, "You're not welcome in Malaysia." Whew! It's hard to call this one, other than calling it a sad day for Life on Earth in the 21st Century of the Christian calendar. I mean, the Buddha's 2540th birthday was celebrated this week (a Taurus was he!) and hardly anyone knew about it. Meanwhile a corrupt Muslim leader was telling a clueless Protestant leader to fuck off. Well, you have to admit the corrupt Muslim had his point. We wish John Howard would fuck off too. Maybe the South Koreans will inadvertently nudge him over the 38th parallel where he can be captured and held hostage by Kim Jong-Il. Hell, the North Koreans are that out of it, they might think Little Johnny has value. "Give us a seat on the UN or we'll kill the hostage." Heh-heh. HH |
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