| Australia's Journal of Political Character Assassination | Melbourne, Australia |
SCUM AT THE TOP | Next Issue: 15 Apr 2000 |
| Editor: Harold Hark | Volume 4 Number 7 |
International Bowser Boycott 7 - 9 April Citizens Against High Gas Prices, a non-profit organisation in the US are asking bowser slaves the world over to stay away from petrol stations from Friday 7 April through Sunday 9 April. The reasons for escalating petrol prices be damned, the fact is people are at the continual mercy of Middle Eastern Oil barons and tax devouring governments worldwide. They have effectively stifled research into alternative engine models since the invention of the automobile, and because of their worldwide monopoly have no qualms in sticking high prices further up the backside of hapless motorists. Such blockades have worked before, if only in the short-term and in isolated areas. But an international effort could be a powerful messenger to the self-interested greed-mongers who literally rule the world with grip on oil distribution. So tank up by April 6th and stay away till the following Monday. Do it! Hanson: The Ghost In The Cabinet The increasingly isolationist Howard Government has taken a further step towards becoming an international pariah by ordering a review of its cooperation with UN committees overseeing human rights. Angered by what it sees as partisan politics against its questionable record on race relations, the federal cabinet has ordered a "whole-of government review of the United Nations treaty committee system as it affects Australia". As reported by Tony Wright and Kerry Taylor in The Age (31 Mar 00), "the two-month review could lead to Australia dramatically reducing its participation in a string of UN committees that administer covenants and conventions on human rights, the rights of children, the right of political and civil freedom and on discrimination against racial groups and women." What participation? Of the six groups comprising 97 international sitting members, Australia has contributed exactly one person, Justice Elizabeth Evatt, who sits on the Human Rights committee. What kind of Frankenstein government have we created here? Look at the committees they are trying to weasel out of:
Is this the kind of government to be proud of? Australia now joins North Korea as one of the only two countries to criticize UN human rights censures. Greens Senator Bob Brown says, "Cabinet has embraced Hanson's foreign policy. Australia is getting closer and closer to Beijing in seeking trade liberalisation but avoiding human rights and environmental responsibilities." Who could possibly dispute it? This is craven behaviour in the face of a world in constant struggle against totalitarianism. How close dare John Howard get to Beijing or Belgrade? Has cabinet become so insular that it can no longer see beyond the gradual crystallisation of a righteous xenophobia? Opposition foreign affairs spokesman Laurie Brereton says the review was a "predetermined process designed to significantly downgrade Australia's compliance with the international standards the UN seeks to promote". Yet Democrat Senator Aden Ridgeway has given qualified support to the Coalition, saying the UN had strayed into domestic politics by supporting the call for an official apology. And a separate article by Tony Wright is headlined "UN slur is hypocritical." Wright says "There can be no doubt that a UN committee that lumps Australia in the same basket as places such as Rwanda, Algeria, Bosnia and Iraq in its treatment of racial minorities is hypocritical and deeply flawed. It is a nonsense, particularly from an outfit headed by a US lawyer, whose home country has produced the western world's outstanding example of jails packed with racial minorities. Among the 18 "experts" on the committee are representatives of China, Egypt, Romania and many other countries that should begin by condemning their own on human rights." After this breathtaking example of nationalism, Wright justly goes on to condemn the Howard Government's knee-jerk reaction, saying its readiness "to turn its back on the UN umpire … is sending a petulant message from a weak and confused position." But the structure of the article places fault with the UN over fault with Howard, a big mistake. Comparisons are not only odious they are defeating. Because of the above complaints, are we to throw our hands up in despair and call it a day? "They can't look after their own, so why should we bother." Isn't this the attitude people normally have" "It's too hard! Why should we lead the way?" The people on those committees no doubt despise the actions of their countries, or they wouldn't be on them. Or is Wright intimating that each member is merely a mouthpiece meant to massage the UN into believing that things are improving at home. Is that Justice Elizabeth Evatt's role? Wright paints a bleak picture leading to ineffectual resignation. And Ridgeway continues to sound like he's in whitey's pocket. Instead of an instinctive repulsion for the Coalition's stand against UN condemnation of mandatory sentencing, we are being told that well, maybe they have a point. They do not have a point. This government is shaming Australia at every level. It has finally come into its own as a Lyons-forum, Christian fundamentalist inspired coalition of right wing thugs with no interest whatsoever in human rights. The hypocrisy of which Tony Wright speaks belongs to the Coalition. Buck-Toothed Fascists Engage In Urine Tastings Melbourne Grammar, one of the elite schools whose curriculum includes learning how to row boats and run the world, has now instituted a physical surveillance regime to test future toffs for drug use. The grand English tradition of sadistic torture of inmates is long gone, but the yen remains. Following the lead of Geelong Grammar, another sterling institution devoted to premature aging through the eradication of ideals, Melbourne governors have decided to challenge the rampant drug taking of students by forcing them to piss in a bottle. Can anus probes be far behind? Oh, wouldn't they love that. Not since private school sodomy's golden era have headmasters been able to come up with an excuse to bugger their boys. And all in the name of John Howard's beloved Zero Tolerance. Welfare Reform Si, The Welfare Reform Reference Group has produced an interim report, Participation Support for a More Equitable Society, to be finalised in July after assessing public reaction. It is a one-size fits all reform that will, among other things, group sole parents and those with disabilities into one category, extend "mutual obligation" to all welfare recipients and not just those on the dole, and cut off payments to people who can work but refuse. These are some of the "reforms" sure to be picked up by the Government. The positive, caring bits, such as closer liaison between governments, business and communities, one-to-one counselling at Centrelink, and one-off payments to people who have held a job for six months, are more likely to fall by the wayside. Senator Jocelyn Newman, Family and Community Services Minister, has done what every Liberal Minister does the minute a new attempt to modify the living standards of Australians hits the fan. She has stressed that there will be no "reduction in payments to individuals." Like every Liberal Minister, she expects us to believe it. The opposition FaCS, Wayne Swan, has put the government's inevitable response to this report into perspective with just a few words. "The Government's real intention is to rein in welfare expenditure." The Howard Government has been in office for four years. Its record of ideological meanness speaks loud and clear. Casual work, with its accompanying lack of benefits and the elimination of any planning for the future, is replacing full-time work. "Work for the Dole" is the model this government would like to see extended to everyone, including old people and the physically and mentally impaired, that is, just about anyone equipped with more than a torso. Their ideal is a workforce on call at all times with reduced wages and 100 per cent expendable. Tony Abbott, the Coalition's in-your-face Christian Fascist, would be licking his slavering chops over the possibilities of kicking the poor again with this reform. His high regard for the work ethic coupled with no regard for human dignity is so pronounced that, in his words, any job is better than no job. That may be true in struggling, third world countries, but even though the Howard Government is trying to change welfare from a right to an earned privilege, Australians still demand their dignity. To read the full interim report, go to Government FaCS Site If The Queen Says Sorry, Little Johnny Would Surely Follow The papers are full of cartoons depicting John Howard grovelling before the Queen. One ribald wag even went so far as to suggest that She was the other woman in his life. Who knows, with his perverse devotion to Her Majesty, Janette may not even mind his little fantasy. For her part, John's ventriloquist, the Nancy Reagan of Australia, curtsied like a "housemaid greeting her mistress," upon the Queen's arrival. And The Prime Miniature? Peter Wilmoth describes him as standing "still as night," while his superior "smiled and chatted to her welcomers." Like an adolescent boy at a school prom, John Howard couldn't help bending from the waist, stiffly, woodenly. Barry Everingham of Malvern, VIC wrote to The Australian saying that "the British royal family prefers men to make the Coburg bow--an inclination of the head." Whether our little PM knew this or not, he wouldn't have been able to help himself. He so desperately wants the Queen to know that he single-handedly saved Australia from the anti-colonialists, that he would have kissed her lilac pumps. Even though the Queen has made it abundantly clear that she couldn't give a shit one way or the other. But not only is John Howard less than half the woman the Queen is, he also is not man enough to "I'm sorry" to the Aboriginal Nation. What a dill. An AC Nielsen AgePoll puts Premier Steve Bracks's approval rating at 67 per cent, pipping Der Jeff von Kennett's all time high of 61 per cent. As expected, Bracks's lowest rating was among our young fogies, the ideals eschewing 18 to 24 year olds. What can we expect when history is no longer taught in schools and the national "leader" is a timidly cautious troglodyte? Yet, even they have given Bracks over 50 per cent. What does this all mean? It helps that Denis Napthine is a no-show. It helps that the recent Liberal Party council whitewashed the reasons for losing the election last September, thus insuring continued voter disdain. It helps that while Bracks is no smooth talker or seasoned obfuscator, he has a genuineness that gives people something akin to hope. He may make mistakes: after all he has the blinkered interests of the Labor party machine to reckon with. He has yet to come through on several key promises, but has come through on many others. He has succeeded in blowing away the repression in the state school system. Teachers are rapt. Indeed many look back on the Kennett era with an astounded disbelief that it could ever have happened. Bracks will never provide perfect government, but he is the only political leader in Australia today that people trust. May he never lose it. Leunig & Nicholson: Away With The Birds & Into The Fray What a joy it is to turn to the editorial page of The Australian for Peter Nicholson's latest dismantling of our political, corporate and other goons. The ongoing Ulysses saga every Saturday is a perfect portrayal of the hapless Howard Government and the endless whirlpools of inept decision-making it gets itself into. Besides Nicholson's gift for political satire, his characters are drawn amusingly and (an important element for wide readership) they are cute. John Howard's Pinocchian lower lip almost makes him cuddly...in a Chucky sort of way, to be sure. Sadly, there is not much Nicholson can do to improve Bronwyn Bishop. When he steps aside from the political fray, he is equally powerful. Nicholson's series on summer cricket a few years ago should hang in art galleries alongside the defining Australian works of our notable painters. They were masterpieces. His counterpart in The Age, the estimable Michael Leunig, would be better placed elsewhere than on the editorial pages. Leunig has on many occasions trumped every cartoonist in the world for his insight on the issue at hand. All too often, however, he resorts to a sort of proselytising organic-vegetables type of philosophy that would best be found in a literary magazine read by well-meaning old ladies. His creche cartoon of some years back, where he portrayed a toddler angry at his mother for abandoning him, lost many of us owing to its narrow-minded, almost Calvinist approach to the agonising decision working parents face with their pre-school children. Leunig has repeated such viewpoints over and over. They may be of interest or value, but they do not belong on the opinion page. The Age would do well to share this prize spot between Leunig, Tandberg and Wilcox, that is, whoever comes up with the best political comment of the day. Better yet, The Age could try to steal the under used Bill Leak from The Australian. Now there is a cartoonist who should be seen each and every day! Cowardly Howard Instructs Hill To Run Away From UN Remember Ian Smith, the infamous Rhodesian Prime Minister? Doesn't John Howard remind you of him? Of course the Little Prevaricator hasn't called for an outright white minority to rule, but gee, he sure backs the folks who would. After Philip Ruddock's embarrassing defence of the indefensible before the UN's Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination and its subsequent rebuke of Australia's Mandatory Sentencing laws, Senator Robert Hill has cancelled attendance at a UN environmental conference in Seville, Spain. The fact that the conference will deal with the role of indigenous people in biological diversity conservation would surely have nothing to do with his short-notice back away. Not at all, reports a spokesman for Hill. The trip would cost more than $25,000 and thus does not represent good value. It's good to know this government has its priorities right. Practical Reconciliation: Howard's Latest Politically Correct Doublespeak The Prime Miniature and his offsider, Duhbrain Kemp launched The National Indigenous English Literacy Strategy yesterday, aimed at low school attendance and poor literacy among Aborigines. Seems the launch was a hurried affair, though, with many Aboriginal groups claiming they had heard nothing of it. Of course, the real reason for this sudden bounty was the Government's attempt to counter international condemnation of its race relations. Said The Weasel of Oz, "Instead of talking about rolling back the criminal law, what you should be talking about is attacking some of the reasons why there's so many of them proportionately in jail." Besides the lazy syntax, Little Johnny reveals in this statement his true feelings about mandatory sentencing and "them"; he couldn't even refer to their collective name. Oscar Night: Gollywood Gets it Wrong Again The 72nd annual wank for the stars is over and done with. Not that anyone really cared. It's fine if you like phoney baloney, and there are plenty of citizens across the globe that do. The truth is that Academy members who nominate and vote are made up of seniles and sobbers. Sentimentality rules because that's an attribute Umeruhcans excel at. The actual performers and the thousands who work to finish the product must wonder if this is the forum to properly judge their work. Michael Caine sounded embarrassed upon receiving the Best Supporting Actor for "The Cider House Rules". The statuette clearly should have gone to Haley Joel Osment or Tom Cruise. Osment's role in 'The Sixth Sense" would have to be the finest child acting in history. And Cruise played the role of his career in "Magnolia." The absence of "Magnolia" from the list of best films was one of the most glaring omissions of Academy Awards history. The old farts in the Academy either didn't see it or didn't understand it. "Magnolia," in the humble opinion of this writer, is the finest American film since "Citizen Kane." P.T. Anderson both wrote and directed a tour de force that leaves the viewer breathless over an incredible three hours and twenty minutes. Tom Cruise was but one of a half dozen or so fine actors in this high powered example of ensemble acting at its finest. The excellent Julianne Moore was also nominated, but Cruise's role demanded more of him. "Before your eyes," says Guido Mezzabotta in his review (Cine Philes) "he changes from a self-confident, smartass egomaniac into a silent, dark wretch possessed by demons. It's a stunning moment." Russell Crowe might have deserved the award over Kevin Spacey, but who's quibbling. Spacey was great. Crowe has only really just begun a career that will achieve greatness in future. His repertoire is already astounding. And didn't he cut a grand figure with niece Chelsea. He's a giant. Toni Collette, on the other hand, looked a frump, even if she did deserve the Best Supporting Actress. "American Beauty" continues to be controversial. Praised by most critics, condemned by feminists, religious cranks, and foreign critics who believe Americans cannot possibly get anything right, it probably lies somewhere between. Like "Being John Malkovich," it could have benefited from a writer with more wisdom. Just as "Malkovich" would have been a masterpiece if someone from the Dada Twenties had taken over the screenplay, "Beauty" needed that cellophane bag replaced by something a little less objectionably mundane; a bloody leaf or something. Cello bags may be ubiquitous these days, but as acceptable symbols of eternity they come dangerously close to Forest Gump's silly box of chocolates. The Academy Awards are trivial, but the emerging quality of pictures coming from the money lenders in Gollywood is a hopeful trend. Let's hope 1999 is the first year of a new golden era in fine filmmaking. It's about time. Noble Hawks As the AFL slips into the realm of a television sport while team bureaucracies scramble for perks and deals with no regard for supporters, there is one team that still exhibits the heart and soul of Aussie Rules, the greatest sport on Earth. Hawthorn's courageous comeback against the Brisbane Lions last week was typical of the lion-hearted spirit first introduced by John Kennedy many decades ago. Kennedy took a team perennially at or near the spoon end of the ladder since the Twenties and moulded them into a fighting unit equivalent to the Ghurkhas. Somewhere along the line they were saddled with the unfortunate tag of "The Family Team," probably by an influential right wing politician obsessed with touting family values as a way to get votes. They are not a "family team," but an ever changing group of young men who, when the chips are really down, show qualities akin to the Greek heroes of old. Since the Eighties, when they hit their stride, the Hawks have been an average team. But one or two times a year, they call upon that inner resolve drilled into them from recruitment, that insurmountable odds prepare the road to valour. They don't always win, but no other team has the panache to stir the noble heart as they struggle to overcome the opposition. And in almost every case, the opposition is seen to be a lesser, mean-spirited lot. Put that on your meat pie. |
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